Determing your “What” and “Why”
So losing weight and getting healthier have been in the back of your mind lately, and recently something motivated you to finally get serious about it. You’ve halfheartedly committed to diets or exercise routines before, but fell off after a few days or weeks after the call of your old comforts won out over your desire to lose weight. Change felt too hard. Work is stressful, being a parent is challenging, trying to keep your house presentable is draining. Indulging in a snack after work or McDonald’s at your lunch break gives you something to look forward to, a moment of happiness in the midst of a stressful day. Sitting on the couch watching TV or scrolling on your phone in the evening is a way to unwind after an exhausting day. How can you get through these hard days without giving yourself a little pleasure?
The excuses are plentiful, but something has given you reason to really desire change this time. Maybe it is pain in your body, fatigue, stomach issues, a recent diagnosis, inability to keep up with your kids, etc. But how do we make this time different? How do we commit to lasting change?
It all starts with defining a clear “what” and “why.” The “what” can be thought of as your goal. Don’t be afraid to dream big. Take time to imagine exactly what it is that you want. It can be helpful to brainstorm a list of several ideas. But ultimately, you want your goal to make you feel excited, to ignite passion and motivation in you. You also want them to be SMART, which has typically been described as Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
However, I personally like to swap the “A” for Action-oriented instead of attainable. Because who is able to say what is attainable and what is not? Is losing 20 lbs attainable, but 50 is not? Is running a 5k attainable, but a marathon is not? Ultimately, you are in control of your destiny, and I don’t want anyone to limit what is possible for you. We hear stories of individuals defying odds all the time, so who’s to say that won’t be you? Even if a doctor has given you a diagnosis, and a prognosis that you will have to be dependent on this drug forever, or you will have to live with this pain or limitation for the rest of your life. Don’t get me wrong, medical doctors have gone to school for a long time and do have a level of expertise. But no one knows everything, and statistics don’t tell me the story of YOU. In any study, there are always outliers. The trend may show “X,” but it is extremely unlikely that all participants in a study resulted in the same outcome. That is one of the great challenges of health care - human beings are extremely complex, and no one can tell you exactly how you as an individual will respond to a certain treatment intervention. There are too many extraneous variables at play.
All to say, respect the recommendations given by your health care providers, but don’t let anyone tell you exactly what your outcome is going to be. You must KNOW in your mind that you ultimately have the power to control your body. Yes, we all have genetic DNA, but whether or not a certain gene is expressed is most often dependent on lifestyle factors. Per Dr. Peter Attia, MD and expert on longevity, less than 5% of cancer results from genetic mutations that are outside of our control (i.e., the BRCA gene for breast cancer). 95% of cancers result from derived mutations of our genes. The two largest factors they have found to contribute to gene mutation are smoking and obesity.
That was a bit of a rant, but surmise to say that when setting your goals, dream big, because most of what you will or will not achieve is within your control. And contrary to some opinions, even if we do not hit that big goal within our specified time frame, it will still help us to become closer to the version of ourselves that we wish to, and we can continue to work on it.
So next comes the “why.” And when you think about the why, I encourage you not to focus on appearances or cosmetics. While being able to fit in smaller jeans or having less stomach fat is a happy byproduct, it should not be the end game in and of itself, because it will often lead to many unhealthy behaviors of guilt and shame and not feeling worthy.
Instead, we must learn to cultivate self-love and self-confidence in who we are now, and from that place, desire to be kind to our bodies. So when thinking of “why,” think of the ways you will be able to engage in your life in a more meaningful way. I.e., I will be able to get on and off the floor with my kids or grandkids without pain. My mood and energy levels will be better when I get home from work, leading to more productive relationships. I won’t have to sit out of activities because of my back pain. I can set an example for my children of what hard work and dedication looks like as I train to run a half marathon.
These reasons that are directly related to how we engage with and show up in our life, will be much more productive to keep us motivated towards our goals on days it feels too hard, or we don’t have the energy to get up and exercise.
And of course, once you have the big goal in mind, you must then break it down into smaller actionable steps. Anticipate obstacles that may come up ahead of time so that you can be prepared for them. And most importantly, give yourself GRACE.
Beating yourself up or talking negatively to yourself is never the path to meaningful change. You must learn to cultivate a positive dialogue with yourself, encouraging yourself, thanking yourself for making this commitment to living healthier. Expand your self awareness, or your ability to notice what is going on in your body. Notice that you had more energy today, or were in a better mood, or were able to handle setbacks more fluidly. Each time you notice these things, you will be inspired to keep going, to keep being kind to yourself, to make the hard choice now because you understand it will pay off later.
So start brainstorming why getting healthier is important to you. Envision the version of yourself that achieves your goals, who stays committed, who is resilient when things get tough. YOU CAN DO THIS.
