Goal Cultivation
December always seems to fly by as we prepare for the holidays and before we know it, the new year will be here. I’m not going to lie, I get very excited thinking about the new year and what I hope to accomplish. While of course we shouldn’t wait until January to implement a new change or work towards a new goal, it is a great time to reflect back on the year, the highs and lows, and our vision for the next year.
It is an opportunity to approach our lives with intention, to look at what is important to us in the current season of our lives, and to make sure we are living in alignment with those values. It is natural for us to prioritize different things at different times in our lives. Zoom out and look at your life with a big picture perspective. Generally, do you feel happy? Satisfied? Enthusiastic about your life? Or do you feel worn down, telling yourself “if I can just get through _____ then things will get easier”?
How to Determine Your Goals
If we feel that something is off, it is important to identify the specific area(s) that are no longer aligned with who we want to be. Gauge your satisfaction in these specific areas: relationships, health, finances, purpose, time, spirituality. Once you identify the areas you want to improve upon, you can start thinking of your specific goals.
When creating your goals, don’t be afraid to “dream big.” We often set limits on ourselves based on things others have told us that we have come to believe as true. What is it that you truly desire deep down? Don’t think about the obstacles right now, but allow yourself to dream about what you really want for your life. Setting the big goal isn’t about achieving the goal, it’s about evolving into the type of person who could achieve that goal.
Envision yourself achieving this goal - how would that change how you show up today? I.e., if your goal is to lose 50 pounds and you picture yourself having achieved that goal, would you be stressing over your decision to eat the cookie yesterday, filled with guilt and regret? Or would you believe in yourself, that you have the capacity to change and are not confined to who you’ve been in your past?
Determine Your WHY
Once you have your BIG GOAL (or goals), think about your why. Why do you want to lose 50 pounds? How will that help you to live a more fulfilled life? If we don’t have a strong WHY, we will give up when things get difficult. And they will get difficult. Achieving a goal requires change, which takes energy. And our primitive brains are designed to keep us safe - to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy. That is why when we are trying to do something new, we constantly have arguments going on inside our own heads. We have that little voice that tries to get us to give up on our dreams because it just feels too hard.
So the question becomes, are you willing to push past the discomfort, the energy required, and the setbacks you have along the way to keep pursuing your goal? Is your WHY strong enough?
Figure Out the HOW
Once you have set your goal and determined that your WHY is meaningful enough to expend energy and experience uncomfortable emotions, the next step is to determine the HOW. This is where your BIG GOAL gets broken down into smaller, actionable steps. The work we are going to show up and do every day. And while we can easily “Google” ideas for helping us get to our goal, i.e., for weight loss, “cut out processed carbs/sugar, do intermittent fasting, exercise regularly, etc.” we then have to do the work of figuring out what strategy is going to work specifically for us, with the unique demands of our lives. The strategy some one else used to lose weight isn’t necessarily going to work for you.
If this is something new that you have never done before, it may take some trial and error. But we must create a hypothesis - our best guess at a strategy that will enable us to reach our goal. My suggestion is to make a big list of all the strategies you could try to help you lose weight, etc., and then from that list, pick two or three that feel realistic to implement today, and a few others you would like to try in the future. Once you have your strategies, put them on your calendar, and then, TAKE ACTION. Momentum fuels momentum. Though we know any big goal is going to take time and we typically don’t see results overnight, when you start taking action you begin to prove to yourself that you are reliable, that you will honor the commitment you have made to yourself.
Think about your future self - will she look back on the decisions you made today and thank you for them? For taking action to create the life you desire?
Anticipate Obstacles
Lastly, know that you will have setbacks, that life will happen and you will have days you don’t adhere to your plan. “I went to my work Christmas party, ate ALL the things, had some drinks, and didn’t get up the next morning to work out.” “I experienced a loss in my life and was going through some hard emotions, which made it much more difficult to have the motivation to adhere to my normal routine.” Give yourself GRACE, forgive yourself, but commit to doing better tomorrow. Don’t let one bad day let you spiral out of control, back into your old bad habits. Be kind to yourself. Both in forgiving yourself when you fall short, but also committing to making a better choice next time.
If you are feeling unhappy or dissatisfied in your life and want to make a change but don’t know where to start, hiring a life coach is a great place to start. I specialize in women’s weight loss, as well as physical, mental, and spiritual wellness. I would love to help you develop a plan to set and achieve your goals, in order for you to show up and engage in your life in a more meaningful, fulfilled, and impactful way.
